3:45 PM

Access Denied pt.1

Posted by Unknown |

How long has it been since you were denied entry t0 a certain place of business because one of the people that you were with wasn't 21 years of age, in fact the youngest is about 2o years and 5 months shy of that magic drinking number. This is something that I haven't encountered in about 20 years, this is definitely a new chapter in urban geriatric mom adventures...

Glenn's brother is visiting from some far off desolate part of the country, where eclectic eateries are few and far between - no seriously, there's only 500 or so people in the town where he lives, anyway he likes to eat at most any place that doesn't resemble an Old Country Buffet or Auntie Joe Bob's Diner etc. so we load up the vehicles with 2 babies, 3 - 40 somethings, a 70,000 year old something (Glenn's Mom) and an 8 year old and head off into one of our favorite parts of town where there are bunches of eclectic eating joints. Arriving at our 1st destination, a small cozy kitschy Mexican eatery, we found it packed with a line out of the door, in the old days we would've parked, taken our place in line, enjoyed ourselves a margarita, or maybe a cool and refreshing beer and waited, not today though,this family wagon train decided to keep moving everyone knowing through osmosis that this wasn't going to be the case today. We park gather the group and trundle off to option #2 some Puerto Rican joint Glenn's been wanting to eat at again (the 1st time was the day Audrey was born it was yummy take out) we arrive out front, the Puerto Rican place is closed for renovations, Ok what now? the amiable baby timeline is ticking down, I chime in let's eat at Matador a fabulously, sexy, Mexican place, with great drinks, lots of red velvet, and a blazing year around indoor fire pit.
That's when it happened Glenn noticed a sign on the front door that read 21& OVER, as if not understanding the words he read them off again....

11:43 AM

Pre-Walking Pull Up Power!

Posted by Unknown |

It's around 6:00am and little Muffin is up and about and I am mouthing down a hand full of peanut M&M's, trying to convince her not to use mommy's boobs as pull up post. Speaking of pulling up, Muffin just turned 7 months, she 's a pull-to-stand demon! The unfortunate thing for me is that everything in my line of sight has become an injury in wait, tables, chair legs, desk, stools, and even the walls, the only safe things in my house seem to be A. The middle of the floor or B. The big squishy red sofa...

2:06 PM

Can I Kill the Garbage Man? PLEASSSE

Posted by Unknown |


Some days I wish that I existed in one of those fantasy, comic book type of worlds, where I was able to incinerate anyone and/or anything with a quick flick of my brow. Todays villains would definitely be Garbage Mantis (aka the garbage man) and the Recylclor (aka the recycling truck) arch enemies of Moms and peacefully napping babes all over Urbania. It starts out like any other Tue/Thur/Sat/Sun, Muffin wakes up loads up her drool machine, flexes her golden pipes with a few lalala's and dadada's and a couple of really loud yells just to make sure that her voice and my ears are calibrated correctly, I guzzle down the cold coffee swill left in the bottom of yesterdays french press, select the homemade, perfectly pureed, mush du jour for her breakfast, switch on Noggin just in time for Yo Gabba (yea! I LOVE this show), she has her breakfast, she has her bath, she has her independent playtime, as well as playtime with Mom, and then we arrive flawlessly at her 1st afternoon nap, this is the time where I decide whether I should eat a healthy breakfast, shower, or check emails, make appointments, return phone calls etc. - can't do it all.....
all moms know that nap time is super important for growing babies, and mentally drained moms, so when anything interrupts this sacred ritual, and I do mean ANYTHING it is worthy of death, or at the very least severe bodily harm.
I must sign out for now, my services are requested elsewhere.....

2:25 PM

The First Solid Poo!

Posted by Unknown |

Well it happened, yes yes the long awaited diaper surprise of the century, THE FIRST SOLID POO! and let me tell you it was nothing to scoff at either, no little tiny turdlets, no semi soft mush mixed in with little pebbles, but a full steaming well formed diaper filling, pile of poo. Along with came it came some new butt wiping challenges, it seems that solid poo doesn't quite wipe up the way the gooey yellow stuff does, it seems to cling with a vengence to Muffins tiny little butt cheeks, this, is definitely not a job for those bargain wipes (they tend to be on the dry side) I was more than thankful that the stock was those Pampers extra sensitive wipes they seem to be the most moist, and soft since it was taking a little extra elbow grease to get these new stinks off. Not only were the new stinks more clingy, buy were particularly hard to grab, they try to fake you out, you think that you have one safely secured in your wipe and nope plop plop their it goes, and we're on to take two... Of course all of this is happening while Muffin is practicing perfecting her skill of rolling over and crawling away during a diaper change, I had to gathered my wits about me, focus on the job at hand, complete the diaper change and let Muffin get on with her baby agenda. To wrap up this little rant, I quick with the camera secured some more than fabulous photo documentation!!

9:21 AM

Surprise Surprise

Posted by Unknown |

Well it happened we were participating in our early morning ritual of the baby shouts, animatron mommy pops to attention, grabs diapering kit, and goes to work, but today inside of her puffy little Huggies package was a surprise.....